Purpose

I have thought many times weather I have served my purpose in this world or not! I feel that at times we are so busy with day to day things that we don’t have time to think about that. OR maybe regardless of how busy we are, we do think about it. Well I do!

Raul and I have had this conversation before. He has explained that he knows what his purpose is. I’ve let him know that I THINK I know what my purpose is. I feel that helping people is my purpose. Helping people that don’t know where to start, people that appreciate and truly need help.

Okay so I’m about to go a different route and disclose something that I have never really talked about except with Raul. I have my god daughter, Savanna. She means a lot to me. I have been there for that little girl (well little to me, she is 13 yrs.old, still a baby to me) since she was born. Her mother and I met while we were in 6th grade. My friend and I grew apart, she went a different route, which I didn’t approve of. Savanna is currently being raised by her grandparents. But what breaks my heart is that my god-daughter has been through a lot, and she has seen things that a 13 year old should not see or experience. She is very mature for her age. When I spend time with her I make sure I inundate her with good advise, and I make sure I ask questions and listen to her. She expresses herself like an adult. I just hope and pray that she does not grow up too fast. She seems like well rounded young lady, and I try my best to be there for her and be a positive role model.

So my point is at times I feel that ONE of my purposes in this life is to be there for that little girl. It may sound mean, but at times I feel that the only good thing that came out of that friendship was me being in that little girl’s life. The feeling is priceless, when my god-daughter hugs me and says, "I love you nina, when are you going to visit me again?” Maaan it just makes me all emotional and teary eyed just thinking about it. I would not think twice about having her move with Raul and I to Texas and raising her. In fact, she has already asked me if she can spend the summer with us in Texas. Yes, it’s a huge responsibility but I know she would have a better future with us. And Raul and I have talked about it and we both agree. Raul has always been one to tell me like it is, and he would tell me if it was not a good idea. But she is with her grandparent’s and they probably have more rights than I do. Her own mother has told me that she wants me to have her if anything happens to her. It’s just so complicated!

I feel that my god-daughter has so much potential. She is a beautiful young lady and she is so intelligent. I would just hate to see all that go to waste. A lot of times I feel like her grandparents are not offering everything they could. And it truly breaks my heart.

So what is our purpose and how do we know? God puts us on this earth for a reason, right? We are not here just for the fun of it. There has to be a meaning, a purpose to this thing called life. So we have kids, raise them love them, and when they are on their own what do we do? Is that our purpose to raise our kids? It could be! Who knows! Obviously I don’t have kids, that is one of the things that I have yet to experience. In fact I can’t wait! Maybe all we can do is try to be the best people we can be everyday.

I have always had it in me to help people. I get great satisfaction at the end of the day knowing that I made a difference in someone’s life. I don’t feel that I have exercised that ability too much in my life. And maybe I’m still trying to find a way to do that. I remember when I worked on campus, older people, foreign students, and handicap people would come to the front desk and ask me where something was. I felt compelled to take them straight to the place, no matter how far it was. And come to think of it at times I did, although I wasn’t supposed to. It seems like something small, but for someone who doesn’t know where to start it’s something big. It didn’t matter if I never saw the person again, at least I knew I did something to help. I must note that I know when someone is taking advantage, and that is where I draw the line. I can't stand people who take advantage.

While I worked at Best Buy I spent more time helping people with their retail problems than I spent time selling to them. Maybe that’s why I got laid off. LOL! j/k. Deep down I hope to find a job that involves helping people. Or hey maybe I’m in the wrong profession. I still feel like I have a lot more that I want to accomplish. I have experienced a lot in my lifetime. I have traveled out state and over seas, met wonderful people, (and bad people), met former Presidents and the current President, fell helplessly in love (w/ Raul) :), partied until I can’t party no more, and so much more. But after all that I still have this surging energy inside of me that tells me I have more to do.

So many things on my mind on this Sunday, yet nothing much to do. I still have more in this brain of mine, but I will leave it for another day. :)